After attending a Harvard Kennedy School awards ceremony today, it got me thinking about what I want to do with my life. I always wished that I was as lucky as those who stumbled upon what they’re good at or discovered their passion at an early age. At one hand, I imagine how much easier life would be knowing what path you want to head towards, but then on the other hand, don’t they miss out on all the fun of exploring around other infinite amount of options?

I still haven’t found that passion of mine that excites and tingles. I’m sure I’m not alone. It’s not easy to find an interest that you’re crazy about but also have it intersect reality, in making it a career and earning money. I can’t comment on how well college prepares us for the real world since most graduates do not end up with a job that was related to their major or with a job at all. Choosing my major was more of a process of elimination and thinking what I “don’t mind doing”  mentality rather than being propelled by an inner desire to really really learn about the topic. Nowadays, there are so many jobs that wouldn’t have existed ten or even five years ago. It’s very true that the education system in general is preparing the next generation for a future that we can’t even predict. The future will not be what it used to be. With all the technology and information sharing we have today, new types of jobs are created while others are becoming nonexistent in the future.

My mom shared an interesting experiment with me. (talking about experiments, my head is filing through all the intriguing experiments in my mind that I want to rant about) So the experiment is that a test was done with teenagers in having them record themselves in introducing, talking about their current situation and their dreams in life and have them video record simple everyday living moments, such as dinner time, family night, members going about their own business. And the researchers follow up with these kids in twenty years or so and compare their new life with their life as a teenager. I see where this is going. Challenge accepted.

Our memories can only go so far and I truly realize the importance of pictures and videos as preservation of those memories to share and keep those moments from slipping away. Thankfully, I haven’t dealt with too many deaths in my family, but when I found out my grandpa passed away a week or so after my arrival to the U.S, my whole perspective changed on cherishing moments with another person. I wished that I had treated him nicer rather than being spoiled, spent more time with him rather than with friends, been more considering when spending his money that he’s taking so long to save. Feeling more guilty for my selfishness as a kid. The memories I have with him are mostly in my head; wishing that I had more pictures taken with him and of our time together.

Most of the times, when there’s nothing special, it feels as if there’s no need to take out the camera. What’s there to take a picture of? But once that second, minute, hour, day passes, what’s left? Memories can only go so far. We only remember the spectacular moments and forget those other little things that really make up who we are and who we become. It really feels as if day after day, little changes. I’m still me. The same. Only 24 hours older. When another birthday passes, I’m just a year older. When I reflect back on the 365 days, only a few top 10 maybe 20 things can be named. But there were so much more than those 20, 30, 40. Each day had something special, but it’s not preserved and lost and hopefully will come back to be pieced together when the puzzle is completed. One year doesn’t seem much, then we look back 10 years, and everything is different. Appearance (hairstyle, height, weight) to personality traits (talkativeness, maturity, adventurousness) to relationships (academic and professional, with family and friends).  Talking about appearance, I find it extremely awesome for those people who take a picture a day and accumulate all the pictures together in a video, showing the changes of themselves over the past 5 years. I’m sticking to a post a day, thinking that it’d be more meaningful personally, even though it may be the more time consuming and effort involved.

When I heard my mom sharing that she wants my brother and I to make videos of ourselves and she’ll keep it and show it to us 10/20/30 years from now, to our kids, future family etc. I thought of my changes through youtube videos during my years in high school, making tutorials with cosmetics reviews and tutorials. Along with that experiment, I’m a tad bit ahead in it since not many knows that I had started this daily blog post wordpress a few days ago. My hope for this daily post blog is a new evolution of a diary, of having a thought a day. Thoughts, similar to time, passes by and leaves, constantly. Knowing that the writing style, way of thinking, experiences will all change and shift slowly, so slow that I will not even notice the difference now, but each year when I look back to celebrate the anniversary of the blog, I bet that I will enjoy what I’m reading then, thoughts from the old self.


“It’s funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything’s different.” ~Ritu Ghatourey